Years - Never Fail

HOMG!!! I love this fanfic sooooo much!!! This writter never fails in amusing me in her fanfics!

Title: [Y]ears

Author:chocoxchips
Series: Alphabets Challenge
Pairing: Matsumiya
Note: This was written a while ago, therefore the year ended in 2010.

1995

Fifteen years ago, we were strangers.

We didn’t know each other existed, didn’t have any connection.

1996

That fateful year, I was accepted in JE. In the first few months, I was still getting used to things, still meeting new people every single day. Before I knew it, I saw you in a sea of people.

1997

We were arranged in the same stage play together, along with Masaki. In the same year, M.A.I.N was formed. That year connected us together.

1998

I made my first drama debut that year in Amagi Goe. I still remember the smile and the praises you had for me after you watched it. Those smiles and praises were so intoxicating, my chest felt weird and I wasn’t able to sleep for a few nights.

1999

I was planning to quit Johnnys at the end of that year, but I was tricked into debuting. When I found out about this, I was already standing on a goddamn boat facing at least 20 reporters while suppressing the need to vomit.

But then when I see the happy smile you had on your face, I suddenly thought that debuting wasn’t all that bad.

2000

I was given the ‘bad boy’ role in Handoku. This was my first time playing such a character, and I didn’t have many people to ask for advice. While I was wondering how to portray the character, you offered to help.

“But I have more experience in acting than you do.” I chuckled as we both sat on your bed, a script in my hands.

“Oi! I offered help here!” You chuckled as you bent down to search for something under your bed. When you presented a bottle of alcohol, I gave you a questioning look.

“We’re under age, Jun.”

“Come on Nino! You’re playing a bad boy character right? Underage drinking is the perfect practice to be a bad boy!” You smiled as you uncapped the bottle, and took a big sip.

Hesitantly, I took a sip as well. I took a bigger sip, just because I didn’t want to lose to you. Us being hot-headed teenagers that hate to lose to one another, we took turns sipping more alcohol than the other did in the last turn. Not too long after, the bottle was emptied and our faces were crimson red. Our consciousness however, seemed to remain. Just barely though.

“I never thought that-” Just as I turned to the side to look at your face, I realized that we were merely inches apart from each other.

My voice seemed to have stopped working, and my body froze when your face got bigger and bigger. When your lips touched mine, I felt my body getting weaker and weaker.

When my mind decided to work again, I tried to struggle out of you.

But you didn’t stop. Your arms tightened around my shoulders as you press me onto the bed, lips demanding more and more. For some reason, I stopped struggling.

Even after you pulled away, you stayed in a close proximity. Your face filled my vision and our panting was all I could hear.

“Push me away…” You suddenly said. “Push me away and leave. Don’t look back. I promise I won’t go after you…”

I could hear the self restrain in your trembling voice. The grip you had on my shoulders was gone, fisting the bed sheets instead. You tilted your head from me, but I could still see your face. The usual confidence you had was gone, and your eyes were filled with uncertainty.

Slowly, I lifted my body up to kiss you.

“Nino…” You were stunned for a few seconds, but recovered almost immediately. You seemed to have gained confidence through my kiss, and gently pushed me back down on the bed.

I didn’t care if alcohol provoked us, but I circled my arms around you as our naked bodies connected. I wanted your warmth, needed your touches.

Other than you, nothing in the world mattered.

*****

It’s been years since the first time we met, embraced and loved. As years passed by, problems surfaced but we didn’t dare to voice them out.

I can’t give you the things you want, and the things I can offer aren’t what you are looking for. We aren’t suited for each other, yet we didn’t want to give up. Neither of us wanted to admit defeat, wanted to face the fact that we are a mistake.

We were both in denial, both unwilling to lose. When we lay in each other’s arms, trying to search for the warmth that drew us together in the first place, we found nothing.

We would both want to cry as we hug, because something was missing.

*****

In the end, we finally decided to let our tears fall. We cried as we enjoyed each other’s warmth, knowing that this embrace will be our last.

When we can’t find the reason to hold onto each other anymore, we were inevitably destined to turn back into friends.

*****

2010

Fifteen years ago, we were strangers.

Fifteen years later, we’re friends.

We still go out to drink and fool around in the green room. We still smile and care for each other, except that kind of care has turned into something else. 

THE END~