As she was feeling these emotions and feelings, she almost totally expressed how I felt these days too:
"I think it's time for me to close this chapter in my life. I've wanted to hold on till the time you finally leave, but I don't think I can hold on any longer. I'm really really tired of my emotional roller coasters. One day I'm up, the next I come crashing down.
I'm tired of crying and aching. I'm tired of my heart acting foolishly. I'm tired when I get jealous. In fact, I don't want to get jealous again, I just want to leave you behind, even though it may be tough. I can't get close to you, and there are so many things I want to do with you. But I don't think I'm given the privilege to. I'm not the only person in your life, I know. But I wished to be the closest to you. Unfortunately, I cannot.
So, instead of hurting all the way, I better stop now. In the end, I may hurt myself more than I can take. You yourself told me that I will leave you one day. So maybe it's best if I don't build the bridge anymore. And one day when the bridge comes down, we may not realize anymore and just move on.
Am I walking slowly out of your life? I think I am. This is my limit. This is as far as I go. Let me bring this to a proper close this year. And I may be more than ready.
If you ever read this post, I hope you can understand my heart. But I doubt you'll stumble upon it. And even if you do, I don't think you'll ever realize that it is you.
Stay happy, my friend."
Let's be happy together too and start a new okay, Joyce? *hugsssss*
**End**
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