30th Month Anniversary

First of all...

Happy 30th Month Anniversary to my boy...

Well, once, was my boy.

Just felt very sad that we couldn't make it to this celebration day.

It hurts me a lot to feel you heart broken and it was all caused by me.

It was supposed to be a very happy day but I just can't make it.

I hold my teddy every day just hoping I would feel you through him. I asked teddy to hug me just to feel you were always there for me.

I wake up every morning seeing all the couple keychains and stuff on top of my bed staring back at me.

Tears flow down my eyes every time I open my eyes.

But I know I cannot turn back anymore.

I'm so sorry.

And I miss you everyday and night like I always do.

**End**

Hate and Love

Recently, many hates and loves came in my live.

Before I enter into this topic, I would like to annouce, I lost my precious thing in my life. The first gift my boy gave to me, my beloved keychain. I don't understand how it was lost but I'm just very sad about it.

So, this topic, hate and love.

As I've mentioned, I'm now a junior auditor. Started learning about auditing is not as easy as everyone thought it would be. Especially when you're still a junior. When you assist the seniors, it may be easy, but when you start to handle file at the beginner level, it would be a bit difficult.

So, what I hate about this job is that I started to really study about accounts, tax and audits and stuff. I'm trying to understand all the concepts more than I used to just memorize without understanding. So, it's a bit tough for me.

But what I love about this job is the people around me. Although I'm still not close to them, but I know they still treat me well. As I'm the only girl there, today, my manager said something which made my day.

"We only have ONE girl here left. Please do TAKE GOOD CARE of her."

This job doesn't really give me the feel like I hate to go to work every morning. Although I still hate to go to work but once I enter the office, I still feel comfortable there.

Another thing is my boy. I hate him for not having a clear direction on his job and life. He has it but he wasn't 100% confirm. I hate it when he tries to do something out of his basic stable income.

But what I still love about him is that he still treats me like a princess.

So, the next thing is my life. Now that I've 99% changed my lifestyle, what I hate is that I don't get enough sleeps everyday. I'm just so tired. But what I love about it is that when Saturdays comes, I would be really enjoying my this off day to the fullest till I drop! Meeting up with friends and stuff, makes me really happy.

There are still a few things which I hate and love at the same time for now. But, it's nothing main.

**End**

Major Change

I've started my work as an auditor for like 3 weeks. Yes, this is the third week already.

I do realize there are a lot of changes in my life.

A very simple example is the time I sleep everyday and wake up everyday.

I used to sleep at 4am and wake up at 1pm. But now, I sleep at 11pm and wake up at 7am.

Not to mention the kind of people I start hanging out with.

I used to hang out with my little juniors and also Ah Hui Ko. But now, I'm like totally 100% hanging out with Hoong Yi and Beng.

And also, I only meet my boy like 4 hours in a week.

I really don't have the time. I was too tired to even talk to him on the phone. I may sometimes wait for him but as a consequence, I got sleepy during work. And I hate that sleepy feeling during work.

I also realized our gap is growing a distance. Remembering what the teller told me, our distance, really is going far.

Sometimes, I'm just too tired to take care of this problem. It's like I don't care anymore.

I know he puts effort in this problem, but I'm sorry, I don't. I'm just too tired.

From the very moment I stepped into the office, I knew my life would change drastically.

But seriously, if my boy were to take this reason to leave me, I would accept. Cause I really don't have the time to go lovey dovey like I used to. I may object but then I might really accept the fact.

**End**

The Feeling

I'm now on the way home from my trip to Langkawi Island.

Sitting on the bus.  The feeling.  Yes,  sometimes I love the feeling of riding a bus to a journey.  Sometimes,  I just don't.  Especially when I'm on the way home.

It always make me feel like time goes so fast and I'm already done with my holidays,  back to my reality world.

Now,  I'm feeling down. This is the first trip with my SEGi college classmates. Really,  I admit... it was really tiring but really it was memorable and really had a great time with them.

Going home now is making me thinking back what we did during the trip. Realising my friends and their characteristics. Some may be good,  some may be bad.

However,  I would always convince myself that overall,  the trip would be part of my memory.

**End**

A Healthy Life After A Stressful Life

Yes, I'm as free as a bird now!

I finished my SEGi College, University of Greenwich final, final examinations around 2 weeks ago. I am now so happy and relax doing nothing but plans for hang outs, outings and stuff!

During my final exams, it was so tiring and such pressure is pressuring me [tho I didn't really feel the stress but I know I am].

Cause everything I do, I'm thinking about my exams, even when I'm sleeping I dreamt of exams. Ugh, hate exams periods!

A pic of my starbucks during the middle of my exams revision!

And my boy is annoying me with stuff and stuff. Ugh~ Annoying.

But he still support me fully and bought me this hello kitty collection! <3

However, during the exam periods, I was quite happy that I had became closer to a group of those famous year 1 classmates. They are all nice people. Even Evelyn became closer to me, taught me a lot of things. But However, JC has been an annoying person. Sometimes, I just got annoyed and I started ignoring her. She knew but she's just too annoying.

Our study group at Sun Xuen.

My coffee Bean with Evelyn.

Had a break dinner with my parents after a paper.

 

Oh yea, after our final paper that day, we went for a barbeque. It was nice too. I mean we talked a lot and get to know more about each other and stuff. I was happy and glad. It was afterall the last day we, as all classmates came to a event we organize. Almost everyone came.

I was a bit sad that how Hui Ko became further apart from me after he and his gay partner, James started so called 'dating'. And he's a bit left out when James isn't here and he came to the party joining us and got a bit lost on what we're talking. But, whatever. Oh! And he gave me a RM100 Haagen Dazs voucher! Damn this is really touching cause he still owe me Haagen Dazs ice cream.

oh! That very last paper 28th May, audit, Kar How cheated and got caught! What the fuck is wrong with him?! I mean cheating is ok, but with a bunch of piles of papers bringing in?! The fuck! Is he nuts?!

But it's none of my business.

Speaking of exams, this is the first ever final exams where time is a matter! Audit and Strategic Financial Management papers, I didn't have enough time to write and damn, SFM I had 14 pages and Audit I had 19 pages! When I was younger, I thought it's almost impossible to write so much in exams but now, I totally believe. If time is not a factor, I would have wrote more!

My SFM case study, Facebook Inc.

Ok, back to my SEGi classmates, we went for steamboat and asking ACCA courses on the 4th June. And also Iron Man III movie with Evelyng, Beng and Tatt Yik too. [Finally, I get to watch Iron Man III] It was fun with them. We played truth or dare too that day. We were a bit nuts tho. Then we planned on a trip to Langkawi, going on this coming Monday, 10th June. So, excited but Evelyn is not going. Feeling a bit sad tho.

Sudden Photographer: Evelyn Chua

My exam was a bit adventurous cause I went all the way to mainland to Evelyn's house to study. Her house is pretty. Went to Gelugor to Hoong Yi's apartment to see his house. It is a very pretty nice apartment.

 Hoong Yi's house.

Oh! And Hoong Yi's birthday present.

Evelyn's room with Cindy.

Our dinner at Evelyn's place by her lil brother.

Now that our exams are over, I'm now living a semi healthy life, like doing exercise: jogging, hiking, badminton.

I'm growing fat you know. From 45kg a year ago to 51kg! Da fuck! >.<

I'm trying to improve my stamina too. I know my stamina is really weak.

I played badminton that day with Beng, Tatt Yik and Hoong Yi, JC too and Vern went but didn't play but his boyfriend. Eugene went too. Damn! He's good and yet he didn't tell me and teach me! Playing with JC is boring. She's like how I was when I first went. Day dreaming and didn't wanna run around. At least I'm better now, I guess. Cause they almost scolded me for not running around so I'm trying to run around now. Back to Eugene, he played non stop 2 hours man! He's nuts!

Oh! And 31st May, we went to red box. I was having fun singing until Cindy came, she's so good that I felt no point singing! Damn. Beng, PC, TY they came to listen and eat and talk, no singing. Damn. It's a bit boring tho.

So a healthy life is what I need. Went jogging with KY, Yvonne and Cindy last weekend and I felt not regrets excising altho I couldn't really wake up in the morning. In the evening, went for dinner with them and Tine Tine. The whole night I was talking to Tine Tine about ACCA. Joking and teasing around tho. It was always happy being with them.

Last week's breakfast!

So this week, the same but them I rained. Luckily Eugene is driving. So we went for breakfast at Big Ben. The breakfast was nice but the service sucks.

Anyway, I'm also trying to keep in touch with my friends who I'm not able to hang out with during the 2 months exam periods. Like the ones in SME, Ai Yin, Sin Yee and Kar Ming.

SME friends celebrated my belated birthday that day, June 3rd. Was also Ivy's birthday. Felt very embarrassed cause my birthday was long finished a week. They even gave me gift! Then had a beer. I got drunk tho. Vomited a bit. But was a nice night afterall.

Our Japanese birthday dinner.

A gift from them.

My first Savanna which made me drunk!

Hang out with Kar Ming and Sin Yee on the 7th June for a dinner. I was 3 hours late due to the hair perming. But had fun again. Talking a lot. We had never ending talks. So as Ai Yin who suddenly came to my house today when I was half sleeping. Lolz....

On my birthday, I slacked off for a day before preparing for my last paper. Since Audit's in-class test, i got quite a high result, (88%, which is really unexpected and am very happy!) so I decided to put things down a bit on Audit. On my birthday eve, I dated Eugene and went to Tao. It was quite boring and then went to Red Box with KY and Yvonne giving me a failed surprise cause of Eugene's mistake. Lol... I saw his messages.

Outfit of the day!

 

A pretty colorful shoes from VonVon, Tine Tine and Dydy <3

And so, on my real day, went to Sushi Tei with Mama and my grandma and my mum. Was fun and nice eating! Then night, with my dad and mum. Went home and slacked off a bit and refer back a bit. 

 

 Something from Yin Yin! She called me in the middle of the night! Feeling touched! <3 I love her!

 A usable paper hand made camera from KY. The coolest gift ever!

  Something I snatched from my brother! Wakakaka....

Oh, the day after exam, I went for lunch with my so called god-sister aunt [Ah Hui Jie Jie] and her daughter. Her daughter is a bit annoying. And a bit of auntie type being with her and her mum and my mum and my grandma. Lolz.

Last week's Sunday, went for my grandma's birthday dinner. My brother got really mad cause no one told him and he didn't come back for it and I got scolded cause I told him and my grandma scolded me for not telling him. It's complicated. I was kinda mad tho. Yea, so it's kinda complicated.

So, it was really a great journey as a degree student. It was so much more better than diploma's life. Such journey within my degree life including and excluding life in college. Appreciate it a lot. Thanks everyone who had helped me throughout. And I apaogize if I've hurt you guys. And for those 'people' fuck off!

**End**

Life Goes On

28th May 2013, was my last paper in SEGi College. My degree. My last road before I turn.

After the party, I reached home... Saw a pile of papers and books at my bed side on the floor, with the red board I used to study, feeling a tangling sense in my heart.

Something tells me...

Thinking, this is the end of my degree life...

Wondering, how would my life be after this...

Reflecting, all the times I has in my degree life...

Hoping, my following life would be better...

It was difficult, but really, it was memorable...

There was really happy days, really angry days, stressful days, scary days. However, overall, I enjoyed being in there with my course-mates. [Ignore those events showing that this college actually sucks.]

Each life's turning has it's specialties.

This was overall a great one cause in the end, I managed to leave with a happy moment with them.

Good bye, degree life~ I'll miss you like how I missed my diploma and high school life.

 

**End**

A Teller

06/04/2013

Today, I went all the way to the mainland to see that master for seeing my fate. Well, of course I went with some peoples... Hui, Fook and Michelle.

I'll skip the dilly dally part on how we get there and stuff.

I was called into the master's room. He remembered me. Lolz... Anyway, I started asking about my work and job. I got 'The Ace' with a bright sword picture on it. It says I'm ok with it. I'll sure find a job with no problem and my studies will be good. And so I asked him of I could continue studying. Well, I guess he answered with his own opinion I guess but the way he tells me makes me think that, I should. Of course, work too I need it but a qualification is important too.

Then I asked him about people relationship. It shows a card where there's a general sitting on a horse with some soldiers towards the right (The one I got it last year for my relationship prob.) It says I'm the general and there are soldiers who would listen to me. But I'm not those optimistic and the automatic type of person when it comes to people. I would not be the first to talk. I'm more to defensive type. So I should change. Yes, indeed. And he asked if I'm in trouble of all the sudden, who would I think of first. I was thinking Kar Ming, Eugene then my family. Then he said, it's because my circles of friends are too small. Not enough. So I have to expand it. Then he asked me if one day I've got an interview and the boss immediately approved me to be a MANAGER of a branch, how do I feel. I said I would be scared, cause I'm scared that the people wouldn't listen and follow me. So, he said that's what I have to brush up.

Then I told him about the people around me. The group, circles of friends would always go disgrouped or messed up. Then he gave me an advise, which dinner would not dismiss? Then I said they like to talk bad about me and blame that I'm the one who broke them. So I said, " I don't know it's whether I have a problem..." And he immediately said that it's not my problem. People are like that. It feels innocent that we always got blamed. But who cares? People like to talk, just let them talk. I understand this point of view where the best people are the one who stay silent and steady although there are a lot of talkings about you. But I always just can't stand it and get angry over it myself. He said it's like that cause people are always like that.

Then I asked him about my family. He asked if my mum and I are okay. I said yes but it's more to my dad. He said the card I got is telling about me and my mum but since we're ok, then it's fine. Then I told him about my dad and he recommended me bamboo salt. I told him my dad is scared. but he advice me it's a no choice thing.

Then I asked him about my boy. I got not a very good card. It's warning me if something is not done, we're going our separate ways. It's a card where a girl wrapped herself in a corner facing right and a half blind and half no leg guy walking away with a walking stick facing the left. He told he it says either one of us are not working together or not having a similar thought. Especially me. He said the card is talking about me. I'm not taking initiative in responding to his talks. I should give him more supports to have him to be more confidence. Otherwise it's a no good thing.

Then I asked about my mum and him. The card shows a woman holding a stick over her head telling me that my mum is defending over this! Shit. My mum is still not over with this?! I thought she would be more ok with it. So he adviced me to tell eugene to do something over these years. I mean seriously, he tells me with my look and qualification, why can't I get a better one? But love is not about that, it's about feel. But he tells me, if he's not changing, then it's time I should be thinking for myself. It's not being selfish but it's for my own good.

Then I asked about the cards I got last year which says some guy is gonna fight for me with eugene on the June. But it never happened. Then he said I should be thankful. Why think back. I said I was scared it might happen but it has been long passed. He said one thing about tarrot cards is that it's very accurate. But our fate is changing everyday. So if it's over, it's a good thing it never happen.

Then I asked about myself. I wanted to ask generally but I got a card which says it doesn't wanna let me ask anymore questions. The card is a boy holding a stick with money trees growing behind him. I asked if my life in future would be nicely go on with my plans. The card tells me it's all about hardwork. Of course I'll live good if I put hardwork in it. I understand. Felt so stupid to ask that actually.

Master knew I had another question to ask but the tarrot card wouldn't allow so he told me to hold the cards and tell it thank you but I still need to ask one last question. I asked, the last card I got last time, was a tower being attacked and master asked me if I lost everything one day, what should I do. I asked if that day has happened. I got 'The Devil' Card. A devil carrying a woman. He said he seriously, if I can live in a difficult life. I said NO. Honestly, NO. I cannot. But I don't quite understand how this question relates to the card. He said if I still wanna be with my current boyfriend, I should be prepared. Cause most of the girls like me would be crying going back home to our own family. Cause we're not prepared. Well, I still don't understand how it is related to the card.

But I just want to know one thing that, that card I got last year wasn't related to my family. He said no but he asked why. Cause I told him I'm scared. If I myself lost anything or happen anything to me, it's ok but I don't what it to happen to the people around me. He knew what I meant was my dad. I can't hold it cause I can't lose any of the important people around me especially my family members. I cried. I was really scared. He told me the same thing like last year, if I were to sleep today, I wouldn't guarantee I would be alive the nest morning. Same thing to my dad. He knows my dad is scared of the operation. I told him I am scared too. I was scared he wouldn't be able to pass the operation. He said I should tell my dad how much I love him and thank you and most importantly, forgiving. Forgiving for what I've done to make him sad or mad.Then he taught me to ask my dad about guaranteeing to be alive the moment we wanted to sleep. It will make him to be a happier guy and makes him understand we cannot guarantee we can be alive even today so why worry about the operation.

So in conclusion, he's telling me that of all the things, I should be prepared for everything. No matter it's about my life, living, my family and even about living poor with my future husband. So I guess it's a little link to the card? Where the feeling of fear and scared and not having preparation on what is going to happen is holding me.

Honestly, yes, I'm a very scared and fearful person. I'm scared of everything. That's why I don't dare to put anything above my standards. Cause I'm scared of failures. I cannot accept failures or anything not within my plans and expectations. I'm not prepared for anything outside. That's why I'm scared. And yes, I just realized it now. I'm scared.

But, he did make me feel secure of a lot of things like my future job, studies and especially my life plan.

**End**

Calling/ Breathless - by ARASHI

Arashi's newest 40th Single! Totally awesome!! ♥♥♥

 

 Standard Edition (CD)
1. Calling
2. Breathless
3. オールライト！
4. full of love
5.-8. original karaoke

Limited Edition A (CD + DVD)
1. Calling
2. Breathless
Calling PV
12 page lyrics booklet

Limited Edition B (CD + DVD)

1.  Breathless
2. Calling
Breathless PV
12 page lyrics booklet

 

credit: http://aramatheydidnt.livejournal.com/4644069.html#ixzz2MMxeYtwL

**End**