It Hits Me

It hits me. It just did. The knife just went deeper.

I thought I could manage myself well. By doing what I do everyday will be fine.It went so well. Until just now.

I was as usual going online and studying. After doing all my duty, I kept on finding things to do like I did every night. I did it everyday to waste time while waiting. Waiting for you to finish work and tell you about my day.

However, it was different today. I just realized, what was I waiting for? I finished all my job. I can just go to bed now. Reality hits me. I no longer have to wait anymore. There's nothing for me to wait every night. No one is gonna call me. I can no longer have to tell anyone about my day. I don't have to wait anymore.

It hits me. It hits me hard enough for me to realized you were my daily life that just left me alone now. Accepting the truth was hard. It hurts. It was a painful truth. But I still have to accept it. How can I ease my pain? How can I forget it fast and continue with my life?

Cry. This time, I cried my whole heart out. I so felt like dying. If dying can ease my pain, I would rather die.

**End**