Sunday, December 4, 2011

Shouldn't I Be Sleeping?

Yes, shouldn't I be sleeping? It's already 3.48am. But I can't sleep.

The days where I wanna sleep, I can't sleep but the days that I can sleep, I couldn't sleep. Maybe I slept too much in the afternoon.

Anyway, I just felt like writing since it has been a while since I last write here.

Days are now busier than those days. Assignments are difficult. Classes aren't like those in TARC where I can just go and leave whenever I want. Tho people are new and better than those days in TARC, somehow I'm still not used to them. Being in a relationship life isn't as easy as I thought too. Once I'm free, I would have to busy myself for him. his birthday is just tomorrow and his present isn't really ready yet. Working life isn't working well too cause they are now lacking of employees and as a part-timer, I have to fulfill the empty space in between for them. As a member in a sole proprietorship business, I was busy as well. They make things really rush and even if I'm busy, I have to spare the time for them. Giving tuition to my cousin is really taking off my time too. But I volunteer to give cause afterall she's my cousin right? Refreshing back what I've studied is really a difficult task cause I study, I finish the exam and I forget what I've learnt.

I really felt like taking a big long rest from these. After the final exam is over, I'm gonna rest like the world is gonna end. I shall take a holiday trip. I don't care. I need to enjoy to the fullest for this while before my new semester starts.

Anyway, I just hate how I've started to change. I became more demanding as a partner. I became somehow like a chinese educated student. I became somehow, not me.

But one thing I realize was, I'm proud that I've forgotten somethings, someone, sometime. I've forgot those people who are nuts enough that I can't recall any event with them. Even if I did, it's like they are not there but only other people. But sometimes, I just wanna show off to them that I'm better off without them.

My fandom isn't really my major now. Sadly. I don't have the time for them that eventually they weren't my major now. In addition of my hard disks which was infected by trojan virus.

Anyway, the other day, someone asked me whether if I believe in fate. Yes, I do believe in fate. I really believe: If it's yours, it's yours. If it's not, it's not.
Similarly, if a person is fated to be your friend, no matter what happen including bad fights and stuff, in the end, you'll still be friends with them, vice versa, if a person is fated to be not your friend, no matter how close you are with them, one day, you'll not be a friend to them (whether if you stop talking to them or you had a fight with them)
If that person is fated to be your friend, then they are the characters in your story of your life. If it's not, then they are just once small part which exist to make your life interesting or make you learn a lesson.
This is what I really believe.

But how some people are the characters in your life and some are just one small part, it depends on that person itself. If that person acts like they are gonna be a passer by or the minor character, then they will always be no matter to whom they are with. If that person acts like they are gonna be a permanent, then they will always be the main character. Even is it's conscious or unconscious, even if they exist just a little while in our life, we will always remember them.

Anyway, I'm a bit tired now... Gonna go take some sleep... Good Night. It's 4.23am now by the way...


**End**

No comments:

Post a Comment