14/3/22
Unconsciously, the first quarter of year 2022 has almost passed! from the beginning of year 2021 was tough up till now for me. Only now did I have time to write and actually think about my resolution was because I'm on critical leave. So basically resting a while for now.
My 2021 New Year Resolution:
2. Pass my last paper
3. Be a content expert at work
Short-term goals:
1. Loose weight
2. I just wanna be secure
3. Be a content expert at work.
I made this a new year resolution last year cause I wanted a promotion very badly. So badly that for the whole of 2021, all I did was work. I couldn't focus on doing anything else except for work. Interviews after interviews, rejections after rejections. I cracked my brain day and night, stressing out how to outperform and what to own beyond my work. I became insomnia for the whole year, and even now I did not recover. I was so stress out with work and promotions that I had nightmares. Knowing my peers or juniors had promotions before me was so depressing and anxiety hits me each and every day. I was so depressed that I broke down in from of my boss crying so hard when she criticize my work for not doing well. I was even so desperate that I started praying day and night and believing and shifting ridiculous feng shui in my room and wearing lucky charms!
My countless interviews were all gone to drains that I had no more motivation by the last quarter of the year. Open positions were never consistent. They come and go and there were too much candidates waiting for those promotional positions. Many were already aiming for it from the very beginning. Those with really good networking would have gotten it even before the job requisition opens. And my interviews for those kind of jobs were just a surface act where I just introduce myself to them while trying to leave a good impression and impressed them. Nevertheless expand my network. Even when I know I didn't get the role, but I have to act like a positive person and still say I will work to improve on my job and interview sessions. Some interviewers were mean but some were very nice. But over an average of 2 interviews per month, approximately 10interviews later, I really got defeated. For a moment, I just stop. I was just so tired. But still I stood up straight and strong again for my last 2 interviews when my colleagues introduced me. My manager wasn't looking up on me and wasn't too confident that I would get the role. One in accounting and one in finance. I went full force for accounting but 3/4 force for finance.
And exactly 4th year anniversary working in Dell, I finally got the role in finance! I made it! I finally made it! My manager was distress cause she never thought I would succeed. Even if she does, she thought she could comment bad about me and made the interviewer think twice. But unexpectedly, the new manager did not get any comments from her but got it from my previous interviewers and those nice interviewers were helping me out and saying good things about me. She immediately offered me without telling my manager. I was so shocked and happy beyond words. I exploded! My hardwork finally paid off! I flew up in the sky, up above heaven that no words can describe beyond my happiness.
I made it! And I made it good cause I joined a team with the best manager in Dell. My promotional salary shoot up high rise beyond my expectation! I was underpaid for my senior analyst position in Dell all the while. So my work luck was accumulated throughout the year and made a blast at the end of the year! I mean my work luck was just so bad all year long and everyday was like working in hell. No one will understand the tears I shed and the blood I bled all year long just to get what I wanted for the past 4 years in Dell.
But the within the transition period, I was also working my ass off to transit all my things out and absorbing all the new job. It was hard but I'm happy, cause I finally made it.
Yap, when you focus so much on 1 things, you lose focus on another. I gained weight.
This point to my relationship. Yea, I did cause I tried staying with him during the weekend to get used to his lifestyle and he did try to compromise with my demands too. We had an argument over getting married and buying a house but we manage to come with an agreement at least for a 3 years plan. So if everything turns out right, I should be engaged by the end of this year.
